Don't you know that I love you?
by fannyh
Summary: Why do Tonks and Remus first kiss take place in front of Sirius? Just something I wrote one night. Please read and review!


_Just something I wrote one night. Please read and review! English is not my first language so please be gentle with me. I don't own Harry Potter._

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**Don't you know that I love you?**

Tonks managed to enter the house without waking Sirius mother up from her sleep. This was actually the first time she had been able to visit the place without doing so. She was rather pleased about it. And she hoped that Remus Lupin would notice. She had been in love with him for _a while_ now and she did everything to get his attention. It was not that he avoided her, he was always polite and nice and they use to have interesting discussions about everything. But she wanted him to notice that she cared more for him then she did for perhaps anyone else. She was always worried about him; when he was out on a mission or going through transformation. He was always on her mind. She guessed he only saw her as Sirius younger cousin, he had probably never thought about her in a romantic way. She had felt this heat between them but she didn't read too much into it, she was probably imagining things and even if she wasn't Remus was too polite to do anything about it. He was everything that she was not. He was smart and calm and sophisticated and respectable. She was young and clumsy. And that was exactly why she hoped that he was going to notice that she had managed to enter the house without making a mess.

She walked into the kitchen. Remus was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book, drinking a cup of tea. Tonks heart danced, he was so handsome.

"Nymphadora! I never heard you come in… Is Mrs Black still asleep?" He looked up from his book and smiled.

"The name is Tonks, Remus. And I managed to walk all the way from the hall to the kitchen without dropping anything, without tripping over something and without waking _anyone_ up." Tonks said proudly. "What do you say about that?"

Remus put his book down on the table.

"I am very impressed. Has it ever happened before or was it the first time?"

Tonks sat down next to him.

"It was actually the first time."

"Congratulations then."

"Thank you."

They both sat silent for a while. Tonks tried to figure out something smart to say.

"What are you reading?" _A book, you idiot! Why can't you ever say something interesting?_

"It's just this book about werewolves, I thought I had read every book there is about the subject but then I found this one up in one of the bedrooms. It seems really interesting, but I don't know if it really holds any new information." Remus sounded excited. _That's why he will never fall for me_, Tonks thought, _I could never get that excited over a book_. "But I guess you're here for a reason, besides talking to me about werewolves-books."

"I just had the evening off and I thought I would spend some time with you and my dear cousin. It's been a while since we hung out together. I've missed you." Tonk could feel how her cheeks turned a little red. She really had missed him, more then she could tell him. "Where is Sirius anyway?" She asked instead.

"He just went to feed Buckbeat; he will be back in a minute. It's good to see you Tonks. I've missed our conversations." He got up from the table. "Can I get you some tea?"

"Tea?" Sirius walked into the kitchen. "When Tonks is here we need something stronger. Moony, where is that firewhiskey?" He put his head into one of the cabinets. "Ahh… Found it." He put a dusty bottle on the kitchen table and sat down. "Hey Moony, get some glasses while you're up!"

Remus sighted but Tonks could see that he tried to hide a smile. When he joined them at the table he had three glasses with him. Sirius filled them.

"Bottom up."

"Cheers!" Remus said.

They all drank and Tonks could feel how her entire body went warm. Before she knew it Sirius had filled her glass again and she had suddenly drunk three glass of firewhiskey. _How did that happen?_ She hadn't intended to get drunk but she was so nervous that she had finished her drinks without thinking. She also knew how she became when she had had some drinks. She became…_overfriendly_.

"One more, Tonks?" Sirius asked and reached for the bottle which was now half-empty.

"No..." She glanced at Remus but he was busy finishing his own drink. _Blimey he looks good_, she thought.

"What?" Sirius was getting louder. "Stop staring at Moony and drink up!" He had filled her glass again.

"I am not staring." She looked down.

"Of course you weren't. And you are not madly in love with him either."

"Sirius!" She couldn't believe he had just said that. _Was she so obvious?_ "I don't know what you're talking about. Remus and I are just friends, good friends." She moved closer to Remus as if to prove that she had no trouble being close to her _good friend_. Remus looked at her. She could drown in those eyes. She didn't know what to say, she just rested her eyes on his.

"Tonks? Remus?" Sirius slurred. "Guys?"

She could feel the heat from his leg next to hers, she could hear him breath and she could see every scar in his face. She answered Sirius without taking her eyes of Remus.

"What?!" Suddenly she came to her senses and looked at her cousin. "Did you say something?"

Sirius began to laugh. He was no drinking his fifth drink.

"What's up with you? I know that you fancy Moony but can you please wait until I'm out of the room?"

Remus coughed a little.

"Sirius, I don't know what you're talking about." Tonk could see that he was embarrassed. "Tonks and I are just good friends. She does not _fancy_ me." He said it like there was no chance what-so-ever that she could actually fancy him. "I am old enough to be her father."

"Wait a minute." Sirius yelled. "Her father? Then you would have had her when you were…13 years old. I knew you when you were 13 years old, Moony. There is no way that you could have had a child when you were 13, you were not so popular with the ladies at that age…"

Tonk began to laugh but Remus seemed to be a bit uncomfortable.

"Sirius…" He began but then he fell silent.

"I know, I know!!" Sirius sounded like a schoolboy. "If you are just _good friends_ then you should be able to kiss each other without it being a big deal. Right?"

Tonks stopped laughing. Kissing Remus Lupin? It was not like she hadn't imagined it, but she had not imagining it happen in front of Sirius Black. She was also afraid that she wouldn't be able to stop if she did start kissing him. She didn't know what to say and before she had chance to Remus spoke.

"That was a really stupid idea, even for you Sirius. I am off to bed now." He got up from the table. "Good night, Tonks, Sirius."

"Wait, wait!" Sirius couldn't seem to let it go. "This only proves that you are in love with her. I knew it!"

Remus stopped. He just stood for a moment as if he just remembered something. Then he looked at Tonks, stepped up to her and offered her his hand. She had no idea what to do but she took his hand and let him pull her up from her chair. They were standing close to each other. He put his hand on her cheek; she thought that she was going to pass out. The kiss was sweet and tender. His lips were warm and he tasted like chocolate and firewhiskey. She closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss; she didn't want it to stop. Suddenly Remus broke off the kiss, he turned to Sirius.

"See, just friends." Then he left the room without even looking at Tonks. She didn't know what to do, how to react. Hadn't it meant anything for him? Hadn't he felt the heat between them?

She quickly excused herself, mumbled something to Sirius about being tired and stepped out in the hall. She leaned against the wall. _What was going on?_ She had never felt this way. She had never been so vulnerable before. She felt like she had given her heart away and she couldn't do anything but watch it break into a million pieces. She had always been an independent woman, _she_ had been the one breaking guy's hearts and she was totally unused to the situation. All she knew was that she loved Remus Lupin and that the kiss they had shared had told her that he loved her too.

She walked up the stairs, still a little dizzy from the drinks but she knew that she had to talk to him. If she didn't she would never be able to sleep. She stood silent for a moment before she knocked gently on the door.

"Yes?" He sounded tired.

"It's me." She didn't recognize her own voice. "Tonks." She added. _Stupid git. Who else would it be? The pope? _

He opened the door. His hair was dishevelled and he looked tired.

"Nymphadora…"

"I think we need to talk. Can I come in?" Without waiting for his answer she entered his room. The walls were covered with bookshelves and he had a pile of books next to his bed. "That kiss…"

"I know. It was stupid of me. I apologize. I never should have kissed you. I was just so tired of Sirius. He has been telling me that you have…well, liked me for ages but I have told him again and again that it is impossible." He spoke fast and he sounded nervous. He sat down on the bed. "I never should have kissed you, I am sorry if I made you hate me." He looked down at his hands.

Tonks sat down next to him on the bed and took his hand. She hadn't planned it, but seeing him sitting there looking miserable made her realize what she had to do.

"Don't you know that you own my heart?" She sounded more confident then she actually felt. "Don't you know that I love you?"

Remus just looked at her, apparently unable to speak. Tonks kept his hand in hers and waited for his reply. Finally he spoke.

"I…I don't know what to say. You say that you love me?"

"I do."

"But…" He got up from the bed. "But…I am much older then you and I don't have any money. I am dangerous. You can't love me. Why do you love me?" He looked at her. "I have nothing to offer you. You deserve someone better…" He started to pace up and down the room.

"Will you let me answer?"

"What…?"

"You asked me a question; why do I love you?"

Remus sank down on the bed again.

"I did…"

Tonk took his hand again.

"I love you because you are kind and sweet. You are the most generous person I know and you have such a big heart. I love the way you don't look down on people and that you always give everyone a second chance. I love the way you get excited about stupid werewolves-books and how you can negotiate between Sirius and Molly. I love the way you notice the small things like the fact that I didn't wake Sirius mother up when I came tonight. I love the way…"

She didn't have a chance to finish before Remus kissed her. She had never been kissed like that before, with such passion and intensity. She leaned into the kiss and they lay down on the bed. She ran her fingers through his hair and he held her close. She felt her heart beat faster and faster, she never wanted to let go.

"Tonks…?" Remus said between two kisses. "If we don't stop now I don't think I will be able to."

"Maybe that's the point…" Tonks answered with a little smiled and kissed him.

"Tonks…" He sat up on the bed. "I don't want this to go to fast."

"I love you." She sat up beside him.

"I…I love you too, but this is more complicated then that. I am so much older then you and…"

"Remus?" Tonk kissed him so he was unable to continue. "Can't we forget that tonight? We love each other; can't we leave it at that?" She kissed him again. "I will leave now and tomorrow I will let you take me out on our first date." Now when she knew that he loved her she felt much more confident. She was in total control of the situation.

"Tomorrow…?" Remus looked thoughtful.

"Tomorrow!" She kissed him one last time and left the room happier then she had been in a long time.

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_What do you think? Please review! I am thinking about writing another story about their first date. What do you think?_


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